This reminds me of the somewhat tongue in cheek saying, "God chose our family. Thank God He let us choose our friends!"

That flippant saying aside, the way grief strikes us (or not) is unpredictable and can change over time.

When I lost my dad (he was 91, but died as a result of a medical mishap), I felt numb about it for a long time. Now, years later, his loss periodically hits me far more severely.